Kat is a 25-year-old student who lives in the Annex. She says “My style in the winter is as close to ‘baby animal snuggling up to his mother’ as I can get. I wear layers and layers of soft, warm things, even at home.” She has “long wavy hair that I never blow-dry or style.” Kat describes her personality as “reflecting back the atmosphere that I’m in. I respond to people with the energy they’re giving me.” She is interested in “reiki, massage, tarot, astrology, and all the healing arts” as well as “music, film, conversation, hot chocolate and TV parties with my roommates.” Kat wants to date someone who “will teach me new things about myself and the world, because I am always looking for new experiences.”
I met Liam online. I had signed up for an account because my roommate met her boyfriend that way. Her boyfriend was great, so I thought it couldn’t be that bad. A few very random men “approached” me online. One of them had to be pushing sixty. Liam was definitely the best one. He was only six or seven years older than me, which seemed perfect.
As soon as we met, I liked him. My thinking went from “Will I like him?” to “I hope he likes me back.” Our first date was a big success, at least for me. Liam picked me up, and took me to dinner at a restaurant where he knew the owner, and then we went back to his place, which was a huge apartment in a highrise. Everyone else I had been in a relationship with had been in my age group, and Liam was in a different category.
He did seem to do things differently than me, in terms of dating. He seemed impatient with me and talked about relationships in a more goal-oriented way than how I would ever think of them. He also seemed to have some black-and-white opinions about women. There was nothing bad or disrespectful, but we didn’t share a way of seeing things. Even though Liam said he dated a lot it seemed like he wasn’t that used to being around women. He didn’t have that comfort level. He didn’t communicate well, with ease. He also didn’t mention any friends who were girls, but I didn’t think about that at the time.
I was slightly insecure around him, as if anything I said or did might be misinterpreted and considered bad or not sexy. I was always trying to say things he would think were cool and funny. I wasn’t comfortable being my normal, weird, crazy self.
After a few dates, my friends wanted to meet him. I planned dinner with Liam and let him know that the night would start out with drinks with my roommates and friends. I was excited to introduce everyone. I was proud of myself for bagging him! I told Liam that my friends were going to a bar and …….