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Browsing on dating apps can be fun, but the chat box can also be intimidating. How much is too much small talk? What’s a good way to make your intentions clear without being too direct? How long do you have to keep up the digital banter before you can just go on a damn date?
The answers are different for everyone, but there’s some guidance to be found about how long to chat pre-meetup, at least.
This process is different for everyone
Steph Nazi, a 26-year-old New Yorker who’s used Hinge in the past, is “never worried about meeting up too fast.”
She says she’ll talk to someone on the app for a week or so before diving into an in-person date, and she thinks that’s plenty of time to determine if someone is a safety hazard for her. “If they can joke and be funny, then ‘potential murderer’ is crossed off the list,” she said, adding she’s even met up in shorter timespans than that.
You’re allowed to drag out the text-relay stage as long as you want! Hell, you don’t ever even have to meet up if you don’t want to. Just don’t be surprised if the other person’s intentions or interests don’t align with yours.
She’s “leaning more toward consistency” and isn’t interested in one-time flings, so face-to-face interaction helps her identify people who have potential and avoid wasting time chatting with people who don’t.
That’s the case for one person, but you might be the opposite, looking for a quick hookup with little interest in getting to know someone. As long as you make that clear and take the right safety precautions, you can meet up the same day you match with someone. There’s no rule that says you can’t.
On the other hand, you might be into text-based chit-chat and value the ability to hold a conversation like that with a partner. You might be nervous about your safety, hesitant to jump back into dating after a long-term relationship or the pandemic, or just busy. You’re allowed to drag …….